Clearing out the tangled webs of the past..

My ‘Spring cleaning’ is in motion well before Spring time!

Over the past few weeks I have realised the extent to which I WAS a hoarder! (Hoarder: a person who accumulates things from the past – sometimes for future use/sometimes not). Over the years, I had accumulated a heap of outdated clothes, toys, school notes, files etc etc. I held onto concert ticket stubs & invitations, holiday brochures, birthday cards & anything & everything that was ‘special’ to me … These were all stored away & ultimately ended up in my grandmother’s garage. My ‘holding onto stuff’ reached ridiculous levels – for example: I carried around a ‘magazine collection’ (that was well into the 100′s) to every house move for over 10 years. I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit it, but I had even collected a ‘box of memories’ for each ‘boyfriend era’.

I’ve spent the past (confronting) month clearing out my grandmother’s house & garage (as she has now gone into full time aged care). There has been an unexpected stirring up of emotions that comes with such a daunting task… & most importantly the realisation of how symbolic ‘clutter’ is.

Clutter is a manifestation of a) holding onto the past & b) fear of what might happen in the future. The healthy option: to let go of it. Why? I knew it would be a way to live more mindfully & in the present. Very Zen!

Most of my ‘hoarding’ was about holding onto the past. I had some form of emotional attachment to objects that I saw as significant. If I was holding onto this past (& in some cases fearing the future) … how could I really live fully in the now? When I opened most of these boxes I knew I wanted (& was ready) to let it go.

It’s quite ironic that this period of ‘decluttering’ also co-incided with a ‘catch-up’ with someone significant from my past. It was perfect timing (a massive wake up call), bringing to my awareness my ‘emotional hoarding’. The realisation that I had been guilty of ‘holding on’ to a few ‘significant people’ for all the wrong reasons. Although not in a romantic sense, I felt compelled to keep them ‘emotionally’ close or connected as friends.

With this ‘decluttering’ epiphany, I had never felt so liberated. In that instant, I started to release my mind of attachments & fears. By having this physical & emotional clutter even existing (regardless of it being in storage – i.e. ‘out of sight & mind’), it wasn’t allowing me to live fully in the present. I hadn’t realised I was actually ‘holding onto anything’. As I threw out some of the ‘tangible’ past from the garage I felt a HUGE release. It was inevitable that my ‘emotional hoarding’ was next in line to be tossed.

Ahhhhhh… I’m feeling decluttered!